


To tell you the truth, I don't have any friends

by caradhras



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Translation in English, original fic by 雨眠
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caradhras/pseuds/caradhras
Summary: I picked one of my favorite Chinese BokuAka to translate! Hope you enjoy it!In this story, Akaashi contemplated about his relationship with Bokuto.You may listen to そっけない by Radwimps while reading this story.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25





	To tell you the truth, I don't have any friends

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [实话实说，我没有朋友](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/630337) by 雨眠. 



“Akaashi, are you free this weekend?”“I should be.”

“Do you want to go play some volleyball?”

“Aren’t we going to play volleyball on Saturday?”

Bokuto raised a leg and spread himself on the bench, watching Akaashi drying the back of his forehead and neck after a shower.

“I mean, it’s not like we are doing anything on Sunday!” Bokuto stared his eyes wide open.

“Maybe you could do your homework, Bokuto-san.”

“Homework…homework…? Do we even have any?”

“You are a high school Senior. Do you think you can trick me?”

“Then, Akaashi, can you come to my house to keep me company while I do my homework? I don’t think I can last a single moment if I’m left to face my

homework alone…”

 _Then he would say: please shape up, Bokuto-san_. Konoha thought on a whim, as he opened the locker behind Akaashi.

“Please shape up, Bokuto-san.”

_AM I RIGHT?_

Konoha was right. He took out the half-eaten chocolate from his locker, thought to himself: _you will not be able to finish your homework on your own for the rest of your life, Bokuto-san_ (he purposely lowered his voice to imitate Akaashi inwardly). _You will have to do it by yourself, even when you are the last human on earth._

“But math is extremely hard!”

“Bokuto-san, you can do better. I am sure of it.”

“If Akaashi is with me, I could!”

Konoha wonders inwardly. When did this guy learn this kind of rhetoric? Akaashi would not fall for this kind of trick. Akaashi’s next line would be…

“Really? You promise you would study hard to pass the next exam if I come over, Bokuto-san?”

_Wait…what?_

Konoha was alerted so he straightened his back.

“I promise! Absolutely promise!”

Konoha turned his head over slightly, not surprised to see Bokuto lowered the corner of his lips looking down as ever. He was this close to hang himself up on Akaashi’s neck, and scream: _stay with me! Stay with me! Tutor me! Tutor me!_ The imagery was so vivid, Konoha felt so annoyed.

“If you meant it, Bokuto-san…”

_Nonononono wait!_

Konoha patted on Akaashi’s shoulder, making a loud sound. He pointed to the outside, said, “Akaashi, can I have a word with you?”

“Ah! Konoha, you are so sneaky! I am still talking!”

“Shut yer mouth! I am saving a life, okay?”

“You! Stay put.” Konoha pointed at Bokuto, with some kind of anger.

They stepped outside into the cool and refresh breeze. Akaashi hung his towel over his neck.

“I say…”

Bokuto was sneaking behind the door, wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation. Konoha kicked the door shut.

“*cough*”, he started over, “aren’t you two a little too close recently?”

Akaashi raised his eyebrows, looking confused.

“You didn’t notice?”

“No. I didn’t notice at all.”

“I mean, anyone would notice it, alright?” Konoha wanted to cry, “I mean, morning practice, lunch, lunch break, self-practice—thank you very much for taking care of that, after school, weekends—you guys are together all the time. No? Sometimes I get so confused and think you are a Senior too.”  
Akaashi pondered for a while, touching his chin, added, “also long weekends and national holidays.”

“Ha. Thank you so much for the precious information. Sorry I didn’t ask for it.”

“I am sorry, I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Konoha wasn’t sure whether he should comment on how many times they hang out or how frequently they hang out. He finally decided to just wave his hand dismissively, “I think half of the couples in this school spent less time together than that of you two.”

“Couples in the 21st century didn’t even try that hard anymore, right…”

“Is that what you get out of our conversation?”

“Whatever.” Konoha patted on the wall, “you should refuse Bokuto once in a while, because you must have stuff you need to finish, right?”

“I don’t think I have any pending activities to do.”

“Well, make up some now.”

“I will try my best.”

“Anyways. Akaashi, you can’t let Bokuto get his ways with you anymore. I just can’t image how unruly he will be once he goes to college. You’d like Bokuto to leave you alone sometime, and have some personal time, right?”

Akaashi nodded docilely.

Konoha did notice Akaashi’s pondering expression, which made him unsure whether he has suggested the right thing at all. Well, at least he made Akaashi realized something he wasn’t aware before, which was not bad. On the other hand, the potential “lost” he might have cost Bokuto, was not something of his concern. Haha!

Akaashi sat in the shaky train holding onto his backpack. It was always too cold in the train. He could smell iron rust.  
“Huh, someone finally noticed it.” He mumbled while looking down to the tip of his shoes. He was surrounded by salarymen with earphones on, and mid-aged women who were dozing off.

Akaashi was always a sensitive person, and of course he realized he exclusively hung out with Bokuto recently, for no reason. But—Akaashi raised his chin—It’s not like this was going to bother other people. He didn’t have a girlfriend, nor did Bokuto-san. He just didn’t realize others would call them “friends”. It might be an age thing, Akaashi thought to himself. There were definitely people from different class years walking together on campus, and they usually belonged to the same club. Weren’t Bokuto-san and himself the same case? What made his senior suggesting him to have some personal time? He thought Bokuto-san and him were at a right distance. He didn’t have any close friend, so Bokuto-san fulfilled the role of upperclassman, friend, and close friend. Akaashi thought there was nothing wrong with it.

“Aren’t you a little too close to Bokuto?”

Really? He still couldn’t get it. Did Konoha-san have a different standard for “closeness”?  
Akaashi thought about Konoha’s words. His phone was vibrating from his pocket. It was a text from Bokuto-san.

“Look!”

Bokuto sent over a photo. It was a calico cat’s butt on the upper left corner. His focus was so off, and Akaashi spent a while to guess what that white fluffy cotton ball was.

“A stray?”

“Should be, but it’s so chubby!”

Akaashi thought for a while, downloaded a gif of a white kitten. There was a question mark on top of the cat’s head. He texted it over to Bokuto.  
Bokuto didn’t reply for a while, but it showed “Bokuto is tying…”. Akaashi knew he was usually typing “Hahahahahahahhahahahha”, so he typed “it’s not that funny” in the conversation box and waited.

Bokuto sent over a chain of “Ha”, and Akaashi could almost hear his laughter in his head.

“It’s not that funny.”

“I thought you only know how to use the basic smiley emoji.”

“I do follow the trend from time to time.”

“You say you follow the trend but you never use emoticons.”

Akaashi pondered for a while, sent over another text.

  
“Bokuto-san, look.”

“[strangeface](https://twitter.com/dunklesbitte/status/1269690605082251264/photo/1)”

  
Bokuto replied with his shaking hands:

“This”

“Akaashi, this”

“This is exactly you”

“I feel like I die laughing”

“then I can’t laugh anymore”

“I just discovered there are so many of those emoticons.” Akaashi said.

“ ( ̀ V ́ ) this is Bokuto-san”

“ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ，Kuroo-san”

“(-.-) ，Tsukishima”

“( ^◇^ )，Hinata”

“(˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)，I’m not sure who this would be, but it’s funny.”

As the conductor pulled the break, Akaashi suddenly realized he shouldn’t have sent his senior this much meaningless symbols. He hurriedly replied back to Bokuto, “Bokuto-san, I am off the train.” He quickly stood up from his seat.

“…oh.”

He raised his head to read the station before stepping out, dumbfounded. The door slowly closed. A standing elderly saw Akaashi made no movement, and waltzed over to take over his seat.  
Akaashi has never seen the station before. He finally realized; he boarded on the train that was headed to the wrong direction.

  
Finally, Akasshi agreed to play volleyball on Saturday, but he kept Sunday to himself. Akaashi woke up on Sunday morning, hair messy, and decided to stay away from Bokuto.

It’s not like he decided to hate Bokuto from now on. Akaashi stared at his reflection in the mirror while brushing teeth; his eyes are droopy. He thought to himself: if he let Bokuto hang around him like this forever, he himself would have to suffer some terrible consequences. It’s probably wise to create some distance between him and Bokuto. Afterall, Bokuto was his senior, and the fact Akaashi was closer to his senior rather than his own classmates made him doubt his social skills.

He combed his hair down. He used his palm to press down a few dancing ones against statics—finally his hair was back to normal.

_Ok. This Sunday is all mine_ , he thought to himself, _what should I do?_

His father had to work over the weekend, and his mother was out for a class reunion. The entire house was quiet. Akaashi finished his morning routine, lying onto his already-made bed again, face sinking into his pillow. He had finished homework, he also finished watching all the shows on Friday, then he should read a book. He stood up from his bed, and took out two books from the shelf, sitting down again, head against the headboard, breathing in and out, hearing the ticking sound of the clock.

A man fell in love with a woman. The man was beaten by the woman. The man was stabbed by the woman—why, because he held another girl’s hand and took a walk? Then, that handsome college student fell in love with another girl…

Akaashi closed the book.

“Why did I buy it.” Akaashi asked the air.

Whenever he bought books, he always got rid of the soft cover and left the book with the empty hard cover. Almost all the books were like this on his shelf, except a few (survived because of beautifully designed soft covers). He thought to himself, what he did was equivalent to strip the book off its skin, only left it with a skeleton and backbone with the title. He thought again, he was originally attracted by the quotes written on the skin. After getting rid of the soft cover, he would completely forgotten about those quotes after finishing the book. Which sentences did the publishers choose to put on the cover, to make him reach his hand out, to quietly stare at the book?

Akaashi was a little unsatisfied. This supposed to be HIS weekend, and the only way he knew how to spend it was to read a book, by himself. He was not against spending time in peace and quiet, but wasn’t that same as being alone? He couldn’t bring himself to agree that being alone was equivalent to spend the weekend. He felt a little unsettled. He wasn’t like this before, sort of.

“I want to go out.” He asked the book with a lavender-colored cover.

The book agreed. Akaashi placed it back onto the shelf.

Akaashi lived near a mall, 10 minutes away by train. He thought _I could go watch a movie_. Then he remembered he saw somewhere on the internet that “if you could go to the mall, see a movie, eat BBQ, go to the hospital all by yourself, then you must be lonely.” It made him want to go see a movie with someone else. It wasn’t like he has never seen a movie all by himself before.

Akaashi opened his social media, finger tracing down to his contact list.

“Konoha-san”

He moved from his bed to the floor, his soft and delicate face rested on his knees.  
“I don’t think I know who to hang out with.”

Konoha replied in a few moments, “I am sorry. All I want to say is, I am so sorry.”

He asked Akaashi, “Have you ever hung out with friends before?”

“I went out to have dinner with all my classmates on the New-year’s day.”

“My apologies, is it this year or last year?”

“Last year”

“I spent this new year with the volleyball club, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Konoha smacked his forehead. He caught a terrible cold after they visited a Shinto Shrine on that New Year, and he spent the rest of the day eating tangerines and lying in a Kotatsu.

“Nobody asked you to hang?”

“There used to be.”

“Akaashi did you reject them?”

“Yes.”

“Why is that?”

“Volleyball club training, self-training, and most of the times Bokuto-san asked me first.”

His classmates stopped asking him, and he missed the chance to know them better. Two years had gone by, just like that. Of course, Bokuto was different; he was unique. No matter how many times Akaashi rejected him, he always came back, like nothing had happened before. He would continue with the same loud voice and beaming smile to hang around Akaashi, and he would ask: _Akaashi, do you want to play volleyball together?_

So, training, training, training, eating BBQ, eating hotpot, buying new knee pads—this was how Bokuto took over his weekends, little by little.

Konoha touched the tip of his nose, “do you want me to go with you?”

Akaashi replied immediately, “No.”

He replied so fast, when he added a polite “but thank you very much”, Konoha had already thrown his phone into the pillow.

Akaashi thought he subconsciously replied that “No”. Then he remembered Floyd’s theory, there is no subconscious, but true feelings. It made him guilty. Akaashi scratched his head.

Talking about people he could hang out with, Bokuto seemed to be the only one. Bokuto would probably only be interested in Godzilla or something similar. He would fall asleep, or focus on eating a giant bag of popcorn, and he would take a handful and ask Akaashi if he’d like some. He would also come near Akaashi’s ear and whisper to him: _is he a good guy or bad guy?_

But it wouldn’t be feasible to ask Bokuto to come out now. Bokuto would be sleeping or snacking while watching TV. Akaashi rested his head on his bed, wanting to ask what Bokuto was up to, but that wasn’t polite for a junior to ask. He gave up.

He asked himself, if he wanted to advance their relationship—the type of relationship where they could casually text each other, without worrying about their ranks—just texting each other. He took a breath, chest bolstered up like a pigeon would—he decided not to breath out till he found an answer. His heart started to pound; chest felt heavy with solidified air. Slowly, his heart was pounding louder and louder, his entire upper body started to jump. Akaashi thought the answer should be around the corner.

In the end, he almost suffocated himself with a burning red face.

  
Akaashi had kept his distance with Bokuto for about a week. When he first started avoiding Bokuto, he felt guilty, until he realized Bokuto stopped asking for him that often anymore.

Not good. Akaashi thought about it with a straight face. Afterall, a person would need at least two good friends. It sounded “mean”, but it would be safe.

On Wednesday evening, Bokuto couldn’t escape the fate of staying for extra classes anymore. After Akaashi finished training, changed back to school uniform and went to look for Bokuto to tell him the club activity was over, Bokuto was still in the classroom.

He clenched his white-and-black hair with one hand, the pencil with the other. He was painfully drawing circles on his exam questions.

“Bokuto-san.”

The school was almost closed. The evening sunlight sank into the building, flowing slowly on the floor and the window. It was all quiet, as if Akaashi’s voice was from the world itself.

“That voice…” he raised his head, eyes lit up, “Oh! Akaashi!”

“Still working on it?”

“This formula, I don’t understand it, ahhh…”

Akaashi peaked around the classroom, there wasn’t anyone else but Bokuto. He asked, “May I come in?”

“Yes!”

Akaashi sat in front of Bokuto, turned around, and carefully rested his elbow on the edge of the desk.

“Ah, this. It’s probably an advanced formula from what I learned in class.”

“What? Akaashi you know this one?”

“No. I’ve read it in supplementary exercises. Bokuto-san, can I take a look at your text book?”

“Yeah…yeah!”

Akaashi never thought there would be a day that he would help a Senior finish his math homework. It was lucky that he learned those supplementary materials before coming here, or else Bokuto-san wouldn’t be able to go home tonight.

“Ah—finished!”

“Shhhhh, please be quiet, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi put his finger in front of his mouth. Bokuto looked so happy, it made him a little happy, too.

“Let’s go home, Akaashi!” Bokuto’s face had this beaming smile on it. It was so shiny that Akaashi’s heart started to feel light, and there were bubbles secretly brewing. He felt his whole body would start to float.

“Ah, yes,” Bokuto suddenly remembered something, paused gathering his things, “Akaashi, did you make new friends?”

“What?” Akaashi’s eye shifted from Bokuto’s hand to his face.

“New, friends.” Bokuto said it with an exaggerated tone.

“Say… what new friends?”

“So, no?”

Akaashi was bewildered. He wasn’t sure what Bokuto was talking about.

“What do you mean, Bokuto-san? Why would you ask?”

Bokuto slowly relaxed to sprawl on his desk. He raised his head to look at Akaashi, resting his chin on the cold desk.

“Because, Konoha said, Akaashi don’t have any friends.”

“I’m not that pathetic.” Akaashi doubted if Konoha was retaliating.

“So I thought, I am gonna stop hanging out with you till you make a new friend.”

Akaashi blinked, “that’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it? Are we playing tongue-twister or riddle?”

“Recently, you are more reasonable with self-practice, and left me alone during lunch break, and sometimes not walking home with me. That’s the reason?”

“Sort of.” Bokuto replied. When he walked home by himself, he thought the clouds were pretty, and looked like a cow. He took a picture and wanted to send it to Akaashi, but the picture wouldn’t load on his phone.

“But,” Bokuto shook his head in pain, his Adam’s apple hurt against the desk, “but Akaashi, I can’t take it anymore.”

Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat.

Bokuto ‘s hands brushed from his forehead to the back of his neck, “and, I discovered a major mistake!”

“What is it?” Akaashi leaned over unconsciously and listened quietly.

“If Akaashi made new friends and doesn’t want to train with me anymore, what should I do? I, all I want to do is to play volleyball with you…not just during club hours—also self-practice, and the weekends.” He started to count the days with his fingers.

“And the long weekends, Christmas, and New year,” Akaashi added, “Bokuto-san said it last year, we would spend those times together.”

“Right, right!”

The warm orange color spilled over from the setting sun, flew onto Bokuto’s desk, gently brushed over his eyes. It casted a shadow on his structured nose bridge and deep eye socket, making his sprawling body look serene. Bokuto rubbed against the back of his neck and said, “It is true. If someone else took you away from me, who is going to set for me…”

Akaashi sat straight, eyes sparkled with some surprise.

“…Bokuto-san, are you jealous?”

Bokuto was stunned, so did Akaashi.

Akaashi turned over, skinny fingers reluctantly covered his curved mouth. He pretended he was looking out the window, not at Bokuto’s crimson face under the evening light. No matter how he tried to hide it on the surface, deep down in his heart, daisies were blooming all over, dyed his bones into the light, creamy white.

“…Akaashi, are you smiling?”

“No, not really.”

“But you look like you are smiling.”

Akaashi quietly breathed in, withdrew the smile from the corner of his mouth, and turned to Bokuto.

“Look, I am not smiling.”

After that, he rested his chin on his hand, and turned toward his palm, finally covering half of his mouth.

“You totally are!”

“I am not…”

“You are!”

“Am not.”

“I am certain you are! Just like I am certain there is meat in a BBQ restaurant!”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto, “I think I am smiling because of what you just said.”

He was lying. Bokuto thought to himself, moved his toes in his shoes. Before this boring argument started, no, it actually started way early—when Akaashi sat in front of him, Akaashi’s eyes were filled with smiles, and that extended all the way to his temple.

“Okay.” Bokuto put his fingers under the desk, twisting his hands together.

“But I won!”

“Sure.” Akaashi echoed him, “it’s your victory, Bokuto-san. And, it was a triumph, a complete victory.”

*

Akaashi used to think his relationship with his upperclassman would fill-up his entire high school life. What would happen between them after high school wasn’t something he’d care about. He thought this strange relationship between him and Bokuto would dissipate slowly with time, but he never thought he’d miscalculate.

From the very beginning, Bokuto would never let him go.

END

Please let us know what you think about this story! We are curious! ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I translated it from 雨眠's (Yu Mian) work on Lofter （and of course I have her full permission to translate her work）: https://chengzuitingxiaogu322.lofter.com/post/20027d10_1c88b3444
> 
> Here is her twitter account: https://twitter.com/Lett51336795
> 
> Translation is pretty hard and I am very new to this. I hope I'm able to capture and deliver the original feelings I had when reading this story. Please feel free to share your thoughts! Any comments are appreciated! :)
> 
> Also, I would like to thank Gymyogurt for betaing this work! <3 Please check her twitter account(you won't regret it): https://twitter.com/gymyogurt 
> 
> Thank you!


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